Self-destroying love
by Sophy 1
Summary: Bella (here caled Izzy) becomes a cheetah on a trip. After living with different packs she goes to Forx and mets Edward. With whom she falls in love. Will their love be strong enought to contradict their violent nature? Will the Cullens accept it? What about the pack, will they allow their enemys to be so powerfull without stopping them. Please give this a try and Review
1. Chapter 1

At home

I woke up as I heard the alarm on my mobile phone and remembered that I needed to hurry up if I didn´t wanted to miss my flight. My mother was still asleep and I decided to make breakfast before waking her up.

It was not going to be my first linguistic exchange, but it was the first one out of Europe. Australia seemed a safe place and the family with whom I was going to spend the summer seemed very nice.

After saying bye to my mother at the airport, I walked throw the control and found the gate. Inside the plane I got prepared for a long flight that will arrive to Sidney at night.

When I arrived to the airport and met the family they seemed very nice. I took my suitcase and followed them to the car. When we arrived to the house they showed me my room and the rest of the house. They were trying to give me the choice to go to bed but, even thought I had travelled for a long time, I had been sleeping all the flight.

After wishing them good night and going to bed I tried to sleep. It was hard so, I started looking thought the window. I did not know how the surroundings of the house looked but, since there were no clouds I could clearly see the forest. For a moment I thought that I had seen the shape of an animal, a feline. I had no idea if it was normal in that area to have wild animals so near the residential areas. I decided I would ask that to the family next day and fell asleep.

The next day was sunny and hot. I woke up with some noise at the kitchen so there was someone down stairs. I got dressed and went down.

Illness

They looked like a normal family but that night everything changed. In the early afternoon, we went to a park near there and had lunch. When I asked them about the felines they looked worried. I concluded that maybe it was not normal to have such animals near the house.

Towards the end of the afternoon I started to feel dizzy and it was getting worse so I went to bed, I did not wanted to make and scandal or to alarm them. But later I kept feeling dizzy and I also had a fiver so, I decided to ask Emily, the mother of the family if she could give me some aspirins. She looked worried and especially interested in my temperature. She wanted to see how much my temperature had raised from the normal.

-what is your normal temperature?

I did not understand the reason for this question, Doesn´t everyone have the same average temperature?

-I do not know, the normal.

-ok

As the time passed I got worse, the medicine did not do any effect. I started shaking in bed my blood was boiling and I could feel it burning my body. Emily went out to talk with her husband. I thought that she was asking him if they should take me to the hospital. I always hated the hospitals but I was feeling so sick that I won´t have complained If they tried to take me to one.

They came inside the room together and Alexander sat on a chair.

-Izzy, I need to talk to you. He talked in a very solemn tone.

-I know this might sound weird and impossible but I think you are turning into some kind of animal. If it wasn´t for the tone of his voice I would have said that he was joking. Instead I thought he believed in what he was saying, I did not, obviously.

-Don´t worry it is going to be ok. He said, how am I not supposed to worry when I feel so sick and the only people that can help me are crazy?

-We are the same specie as you. The only thing that these words meant to me is that he definitely lost his mind.

-What? I said, I could not hold it.

-You will feel better after. I did not understand what he meant by after, after what?

I got worse and worse and finally, all of a sudden, felt better. My temperature was the same but I did not felt like if it was burning me anymore.

My happiness changed as fast as I looked to my hands. I did not have hands any more, I had paws. They were brawn with round black spots. I knew that it looked like a cheetah. It took me a few seconds to realise that Alexander was right, he was not crazy.

He came into the room and looked at me. I guess I looked dangerous even thought I wasn´t, I was so afraid I could not even move.

-Now, you are one of us. Do you feel better? He sounded very normal like if he was used to these things, actually he was.

I could not talk so I moved my head to say yes.

-Do you want to hunt? I always loved animals and thought that hunting was an uncivilized and cruel activity but, to be honest, this time I really wanted to go. I did not think in the dead animals but in going to the forest and running.

The pack

I followed him and nearly fainted when I saw where we were going or rather, with whom. They were all like us but not cheetahs they were jaguars 4 males and 3 females. I could recognise Leah and Will, two members of the family with whom I had expended the afternoon.

They showed me how to hunt and I loved it. Of course we did not use any weapons. Only our claws, they were enough to kill our preys. What I liked was the adrenaline that I could feel through my veins when I was just about to reach my pray.

When we finished they all turned into their human forms except me, I did not know how to do it. But I understood that I would be able to do it later. So I could come back home and continue my live just as it was when I left?

The leader, Alexander came and talked to me.

-Izzy, now you cannot come back, you need to live with a pack, It will be very dangerous to you to be alone, any vampire could find you and you do not know how to fight yet. His words were a way more painful than the illness the day before. I could not live my mother alone she will not allow me to do that. I knew that there was nothing I could do to keep her from searching me.

It was hard but I managed to make them understand that I could not do that so they agreed in leaving me go. I knew what they were thinking, "She is crazy but, if she wants to leave there is nothing we can do. She will die"

I managed to become human and realized how much I had changed. My eyes were not brown any more they were green as my mothers. They told me that that was normal. The people who become animals were never normal humans we always had that distinction in our DNA but, since we did not get contact with any vampire we did not change. That was my case before. I always thought that I was normal. Even my mother thought that our family was normal. Since she did not become a cheetah when she was young she was unable to do so later. The main rule in our specie, or at least that is what the pack said, is that we keep our identity in secret. Not even if your forefathers were special, they would reveal this to you unless you became one of them. This rule was made to preserve our kind from the humans. I liked to listen to all these stories and to learn about "our kind" as they called it, but only because I was curious about their culture. I never thought about fighting or living in a pack. That sounded to me like coming back to the prehistory.

I decided to leave two months later. I could only keep my human form for a few hours, not enough to keep my original plans of taking a flight back. I would have to do it the old way. Running, it was the only talent that I had. They tried to show me how to fight but we arrived to the conclusion that as far as I could I would avoid fights. If vampires found me I would run and get rid of them.

Trip back home

I did so when I found three nomads walking in India and it worked. I crossed the south of Russia running fast towards the west. I made friends with a pack of bears. The new world I was getting to know seemed fascinating. There was no way I could know all these people if it wasn´t because technically I was one of them. I kept in my mind the idea of being part of a pack. Maybe a western pack that matched more with my mentality won´t be so bad.

I found more vampires in the north of Africa and I was surprised of how slow they were In comparison with me.

When I finally reached Europe and started living with my mother I realized how wrong I had been at the beginning. Living there was impossible. It was not because of the vampires that I never saw. It was because of my mother. I had to lie all the time. I stood all the night awake hanging around the city and running. During the day all I wanted to do was to sleep but I couldn´t because I had to go to the school. I ranged this problem by getting into the office of the school at night and changing my mother´s mobile number for my own one that way when I ditched school the messages about the absence arrived to my own phone.

I kept studying, but at nights and not as much as before. I did not need it. I had a great memory and could get everything by reading it only one time.

Found

One day I came back from my hunting trip and I found my mother in the sitting room, she was waiting me.

- You have been missing school for months. Her tone was not so angry as sad and hurt.

- I am sorry. I knew it was not a very good excuse but it was all I could say.

- Why? It seemed as if she was asking this to herself.

- I can´t tell you. She putted her hands on her face and started crying.

I could not keep my human form; I lost control, just for a moment and I suddenly became a cheetah in the middle of the sitting room.

My mother was looking at me, unable to say a word.

After everything calmed down I explained her that I needed to leave and we started to search a pack with whom I could stay. It was not so hard as I thought, the worlds were not so far away from each other if we knew were to search.

I found a pack in Switzerland who agreed to welcome me as a new member. I was not exactly a new member as I was not biologically part of their family but they accepted me with one condition, to help them kill vampires. I had already been trained for that so it didn´t seem as something very hard to do. I stayed with them for 5 months, there weren´t a lot of vampires around that area. When there were they killed them. I never killed any as I was still a learner and could easily die.

Fight

One day one of my "sisters", as I considered her called me. All the pack was there and it seemed as an official announcement. The leader of the group stood up and told me.

-You have stayed with us for some time and we tried to teach you as much as we could but now it is time to prove your knowledge and fight against "the killers". If seemed an ironic way to call them as we were the ones who wanted to kill them. Until that point I had never seen a vampire hunting. I was told how bad and lethal they were but never seen it with my own eyes.

The members of my pack took me to the west and after running a few miles we saw them, three vampires, they looked like 16 or 17 nearly my age two males and one female. She was skinny and little, just like me. They made me a sing indicating that I should only care about the female; the others were too big for me.

When my sisters jumped towards their preys I did the same with mine, but when I saw her eyes, the frighten look. I realized that I could not do it. It was just impossible I jumped away and let her go.

I came back to the battlefield. Where my sisters were burning the last pieces of their prays.

The leader looked very angry, for a moment I thought she was going to attack me. Then I remembered the rules. You do not loose time fighting with your family, instead, you use it to kill the enemies.

-The only thing that we asked you to do was to help us. To help us in our mission in this world and you let her escape. You will have to leave this pack.

Her words were strong and irrevocable; there was nothing I could do.

The others were not so angry but they all felt betrayed by me. There was nothing I could say to defend myself as I knew that I should have killed her. They helped me to find another pack. The packs usually kept in contact with each other so it was fast to get an answer. The new pack was all men and they were wolfs. I would have preferred some felines but I was not choosing but adapting to the consequences of my acts. I agreed and moved to the United States.

New pack new rules.

When I arrived I felt the cold immediately. It was not like the cold in Switzerland it was more humid, the worst weather for a feline to stay.

They explained to me the rules. There were vampires around that area but they signed an agreement of peace with them. I decided to go for a walk and rest from my trip. I took a book with me, "inferno"

Suddenly I fell down. A big distance, I guessed because there was not as much light as there was before. It looked like a cave since it was dark and humid. I could not find the book that I had in my hand before falling down. Before I could stand up, a boy gave me my book and helped me to stand. When I looked into his eyes and, thanks to the moon light I realized that he was a vampire. I had never seen one so close. What was this young boy thinking about? We are natural enemies, he should have killed me. He only has an agreement of peace with the pack of wolfs, not with the friends that they invited. But for some reason that I cannot explain, I decided to stay with him.

Suddenly, something called my attention. He had a book in his hand. Was he reading? A vampire reading, that is something that I will never imagine. I tried to force my eyes to see the title of his book. He realized this and turned the book around. "Romeo and Juliet", it was easy to see since he placed it just under the moon light.

-Do you know it? He said, it was so weird, I have been dealing with vampires for nearly a year and yet I was surprised with how their voices sounded.

-Yes. I said, I was not comfortable talking to a vampire but as he asked I thought the right thing to do was to answer.

-Do you like it? He said.

-Not really, I said, hoping that he would not want an explanation for my answer.

-Why? Obviously, he did want an explanation.

-Well, I said.

- The personality of the characters is not realistic. If Juliet is so correct and polite why would she suddenly change drastically and disobey her parents in the worst way that she could.

-You analyse the characters? I did not like the way he said this, it seemed like if he found it funny. He seemed to realise my reaction but continued talking. It must be hard then to find some book that you like.

-I like this one, I said, pointing at the book I had in my hands. I wanted to stop speaking with him but at the same time he was annoying me and I wanted to prove that he was wrong.

-What is it about? Of course, if I keep talking with him I could not expect him to shut up.

-About an image that contains a message that needs to be decoded in order to save humanity. As far as I finished the last word I realized I was expressing it wrong. I wanted to make a short explanation but that is definitely not a god summary of the book. It seemed like I was speaking about a comic.

-Yes that look much more realistic, he said this time without hiding his smile.

I did not answer as I didn´t wanted to argue.

Then he left and me too since it was already morning. I could not keep out of my mind this conversation. I knew that I didn´t wanted to tell anything about it to the wolfs, they will get angry with no reason. At the end of the day I did not say anything about us or our spice we only talked about books.

Towards the end of the afternoon I keep thinking more and more in him and how much I wanted to see him again. So I decided to leave and go to the cave, in case I managed to find it and in case he was there. I did find it, faster than what I thought and I started to talk with him again. We kept seeing each other the nest days we talked about books at the beginning but after that we started to mix the topic of the conversation with our lives and I got to know a lot more about his family even though I knew that the things that he told me might be lies I liked to know more. I was very careful I never gave him any information about the structure of the pack or about my own family, no matter how much I liked to speak with him I could not trust him.

He enjoyed spending time with me as well. Or, at least that is what I thought.

One day a little pigeon came near the cave and I gave it a piece of bread that I had. My smell was attractive to animals. Edward looked surprised I understood it, his smell was not attractive to animals. I caressed his frozen hands with mine leaving my smell on them. That way he could touch the pigeon without scaring it.

We kept meeting every day in the cave as soon as the sun disappeared.

One day he told me that he wanted to show me something and took me near the river. It was a beautiful waterfall. When we were climbing I slipped with the wet rock and nearly fell. He took me strongly from the waist and took me up. As far as I looked into his eyes I knew that something was wrong. He looked sad, or angry, or a mix of both and he looked to my leg. As it was already dawning I could see the colours and the red spot on my jeans. It did not hurt a lot but I disliked seeing my own blood. Without knowing it I was facing the most dangerous moment in my life, bleeding next to a vampire, all my instincts told me to run but I couldn´t, for some reason I wanted to know what he was thinking.

-Sorry, he said in a low voice, I could hardly hear it.- It shouldn´t had happened.

-What? I did not understood what he was talking about.

-I said I am very sorry, He answered as If I haven´t heard it.

-You do not have to be sorry, I just slipped that is all.

-I did not mean that

-Then why are you sorry? As usually he was changing the topic of the conversation too fast.

-I am sorry for wasting our time with this trip. Let´s go down.

Down? Away from the waterfall? That means we will separate and I did not want that.

-No, I said, but it did not sound very decisive.

-We are not wasting our time, I like this place, don´t you? He could not say no, that would have been a lie.

He smiled again but not a happy smile, more sarcastic. He said very low.- Yes I do I like this place but not because it is beautiful is because you are here.

What was he saying, trying to be gentle? So weird I thought we had enough confidence to tell me the true reason why he wanted to leave.

-Then why will you like to leave? I didn´t wanted to comment on his words I just wanted to make logic out of them.

-Because each moment that I stay near you will make it harder to leave.

Leave? Leave were? I was so angry. Where would he go and for how long?

-I cannot stay with you, we are from different species. I knew that he was right but, on the other hand, who says that we cannot stay together?

-I do not care, if I want to stay with you no one can keep me away. Actually I was wrong, someone could, he could.

He didn´t say anything for a while and then he added. -I love you. He said it so low that, for a moment, I thought he meant that he loved me as a friend. My doubts dissipated as far as I looked to his eyes. In that moment I knew that he meant what he said.

-And I love you. I didn´t even realise when did I decided to say that or why but I said it and it was not a lie, it was true. We both smiled and kept silence, for a while the only thing that we could hear was the water coming down the waterfall.

-Do you want to meet my family? he asked. That was the last thing I expected. I had heard a lot about his mother, Esme who seemed very nice and his father to whom, even without knowing, I had a lot of respect for. His brothers, on the other hand were the ones that worried me the most. They seemed nice from what he said but, maybe more active and therefore possibly aggressive than the rest of the family.

I agreed but before starting to run with him, I decided to become a cheetah I felt more comfortable in my animal way in front of vampires.

When we arrived to the plain part in the forest I saw his family. They were in the middle of some kind of game so they were not playing attention to their surroundings. Then when they realized our presence they looked to us, I felt intimidated in front of all those vampires, so, involuntarily I lowered down my tail and got nearer to Edward. If they decided to attack me, he would have the time to explain that I was his friend, or better, his girl friend as I became that night.

His family did not attack me and they were very careful not to scare me. As the sun was rising we had to leave. As far as I started walking in the opposite direction from theirs I came back to the real world. What could I tell to the wolfs if they were already awake?

I did not say anything, but they realized that my smell was different. Staying so near the vampires made me smell like them. I tried to convince the wolfs that I did not tell any secret about the pack to our enemies but they did not trust me and their leader decided to kick me out of their pack. I searched a hotel on the internet and called a taxi, When I arrived to the hotel and got into my room I felt well, I knew that I did something stupid by meeting my enemies but I did not feel guilty for that I felt really good for knowing more about them. Anthropology was always a theme that interested me and, I wanted to know more about their world and they culture. When I became a cheetah I discovered a huge world that was hidden from the humans. I also wanted to discover this new world with its own culture and, if I could I would discover it with Edward.

I went again to the forest that weekend, event how the wolfs kicked me out of their pack, that was the nearest place to hunt.

I saw Edward and we went for a walk, we could not talk as I was still in my cheetah form. When we arrived to his house he offered me milk and I agreed doing a small movement with my head. When he crouched to put the bowl in the flour I got near him, he caressed my back and I purr. Then suddenly something crossed the room, it was his sister. A little girl that looked always very excited. She crouched and stroked my head the same way as he did.

Then, we went for a walk to the forest. When I felt comfortable I walked away to find my clothes and came back in my human form. They were still speaking about sports, so I was not playing attention to the conversation when Emmet, the biggest vampire, Edward´s brother. Asked me which baseball team I liked the most.

-I don´t know. As my answer was quite weird Edward reinforced it explaining that I am European and therefore do not know the baseball teams.

-Oh, Ok then which football team do you like? Emmet was very outgoing and had decided that he wanted to know things about me.

I guess the boy was trying to be nice but with regards to me it is the same I do not like sports and I do not know anything about them.

-I am not really into sports. I answered; I did not want it to sound mean so I tried to add a smile to my words to ease them up.

The conversation kept in that line. Just the same frivolous thinks that the humans liked to talk about. I disconnected from it until the big vampire asked me again.

-Which car do you prefer, BMW or Mercedes. Again I did not have any valid answer.

-I don´t know the difference. Everyone laughed this time. I guess it seemed weird to them as I saw they had a lot of cars in the garage, we kept walking until we found the wolfs, the whole pack. I knew what that meant, the wolfs never show the howl pack, unless they were not expecting to see their enemy´s again.


	2. the fight

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Fight

At first I was just afraid but then a million thoughts crossed my head. Am I really going to do this? I knew I didn´t have a good relationship with the pack but killing them? That is too much. There was no option or I fight against the wolfs or I fight with them and loosing Edward was not an option. It was then when I understood my role on the conflict. I was not choosing, I made my choice when I decided to leave the pack. I always knew the rules, once you are out of a pack you become an outsider and they do not like outsiders. I was just assuming the consequences it was not going to be as hard as I thought. I only needed a second to get ready for the fight. I looked to Edward´s eyes and I saw it clear. Just before I started Carlisle got in between his family and the pack trying to calm down.

- Please calm down everybody. We´ve been in peace for so many years a battle will only bring death and devastate our families. There has to be another solution for our problems.

All the wolfs changed their mood their tails were not tense any more they were calm and wanted to listen Carlisle words.

- If the problem is that we are more in number you must know that our intentions are peaceful. We will never use Izzy as a weapon against you.

Then al the wolfs calmed down and disappeared.

I couldn´t believe it. It sounded like a joke. It was impossible that he calmed an angry wolf pack just by talking to them. It seemed like magic. I didn´t said anything until we were back in their house. I needed that time to think and recover from the shock. Then I waited until I was allow with Edward to ask what happened.

- Edward it´s impossible there has to be something that I do not know or didn´t realize. Does Carlisle have that power? As you can read their thoughts he can clam down people?

- No, it wasn´t him, it was Jasper. It is not exactly to calm down it works with all kind of feelings. Izzy it is late why don´t you get some sleep it has been a hard day.

- You should better say a hard night.

- I made him smile with that particular smile that made him look like a child.

- Good night sweaty.

- Good night.

I was not tired but arguing with Edward was not going to work I closed my eyes and thought about all that happened. I was not afraid. I was sleeping in my natural enemies house but surrounded by them it was impossible for my real enemies, the wolfs, to get me. It was then when I realized how much more things I still had to learn about that amazing new world.


	3. Hunting trip

Hunting trip

The wolfs were not going to kill us but they were not in a good mood and it was safer to stay in the house. It was also an opportunity for me to get to know Edwards´s family. In a few days I found that I had a lot of things in common with each of the different members of the family. Carlisle is a doctor and uses his free time to read. It was very interesting for me to discuss with someone with so much experience and knowledge. I also get to know that he was extremely compassioned. Alice was just trying to use me as her Barbie and it was very easy since we even had the same size. I have never been interested in clothes or brands but Alice looked so happy when she saw me that it was worth it. Rosalie did not like me, at first I thought she was afraid of me but then I realized that she laughed at me all the time. Emmet was very fun I argued with him all the time and liked to annoy him he was just like a young brother. Esme was very loving and expended a lot of time painting. Jasper was just weird I never get to know anything about him or his past for some reason Edward tried to hide it from me. None of them ever asked anything about my family or the pack they were very polite and respectful.

After a few days we decided to go on a hunting trip. They took me to a mountain a long distance from there. Edward came with me and pointed to where a group of deer were. I got my nails out and got into mi way of attack. I jumped towards the biggest male but just before I reached it Rosalie came out of the shadows and bitted it before me. All the other animals run away with the noise.

Edward complained and she did not even care to answer. I decided to run on my own and try to find some animals. I was afraid of hunting in front of Edward. When I hunted all my instincts were dominating me and I could have hurt Edward. When I thought I was finally on my own I smelled some familiar sent it was Rosalie`s. She had been hunting and I found a cheetah with two of her kittens lying down. My blood changed from fire of the burning of the adrenaline and got frozen. I knew that vampires could kill all kind of animals but I never imagined that they would kill someone so much like me. It was so cruel to take the life of the kittens. It suddenly came to my head that Edward could do that also. I went back to the car and decided not to tell anything about it to Edward. I guess I didn´t wanted him to tell me weather he also hunted cheetah or not but at night I had a nightmare and woke up. I decided I needed to tell to Edward and resolve my doubts about his diet.


End file.
